Kathryn Schulz has a very unique way of presenting her ideas verbally. She begins her TED talk with the telling of a story of when she was on a road trip in college. She mistakenly thought that the sign for “picnic area” was actually a Chinese symbol. It is silly, yes. However, Kathryn uses her sarcastic and humorous personality to explain that not all the situations in which you are wrong are funny. In fact, some can be very serious. The trick, she explains, is how to react when you are wrong.
The main question is: Why do we obsess about being wrong? It’s over. Bam. Done with. We can never go back and fix it. And yet, we strive to make everything right! Does this even make sense?? Of course not! This is the human race we are talking about here. Even hundreds of years ago, humans have been wrong. St. Augustine said, “I err, therefore I am.” Wrongness is what makes us human. And yet, everyone continues to stress about making things up. We live our lives trying to make up for past errors. You get a bad grade on a test, you spend the rest of the year trying to bring up the grade. You mess up on one soccer game, you run it over and over again in your mind trying to find out what it is that you did badly. You say something mean to a friend and are forever trying to gain back what is lost. As the human race, we cannot just let things go without trying our darndest to get it back. Is it worth the effort if you are going through mental anguish while trying to “correct” something that has already been done? Why can’t we simply move on? Is it because we are “programmed” that way? Not everything needs to be made up for. Some things just simply are and they need to be left alone.
Secondly, why do we insist on being right? Why is that such an important factor in our lives? Is it really such a big deal? So, you win one little argument. But how does the person who “lost” feel when you are gloating and they realize they are wrong? We all know how it feels. It’s an embarrassing, dreadful, heart-dropping-to-the-bottom-of-your-gut feeling. Think of how this person felt before they realized they were wrong. It’s like they are walking on solid ground only, when they look down, they find that they are actually walking on nothing. The feelings mentioned above are the falling feelings. Now, if what they were saying still feels right to them, you might impose on them what Kathryn calls “A Series of Unfortunate Assumptions.”1. This person is just ignorant. If I bring them to the light, they will be on my side.
2. This person is obviously an idiot for not agreeing with me.
And when neither of those are true… 3. This person is evil and out to get me.
We never even entertain the notion that this could just be what they believe and that both people might be “right”. Occasionally, we have to acknowledge that we are wrong and just accept it. Searching for rightness all the time is not healthy. But, on the other hand, it is also not healthy to just ignore the wrong completely in this desperate search. Ignorance may seem like bliss. But when you are looking for an answer to anything, you will not be able to learn from your mistakes. When there is something wrong, we seem to think that there is something wrong with us. Why is that? Have we been programmed at a young age to think that we always have to be right? Even in kindergarten, we see the slacker getting bad grades. We are automatically taught that he is the dumb kid and we shouldn’t be like him. Take a good look at that kid. Is he really wrong? Or is he just different? (I know that is cliché but it explains this very well.) He learns differently and maybe more slow than the other kids. He is not wrong. WE are wrong for looking at him in this way. Your beliefs don’t perfectly match what is happening. So why do we always feel that they do?
What do you see when you look at the night sky?
Maybe the reason for wanting to be right is the fact that we are all searching for the answer to the question, “Why?” Why are we here? Why am I doing this? Just why? There is an upside and a downside to this search. The upside is the fact that humans will always be creative and productive while we are still looking. The downside was explained in the previous paragraph. As mentioned before, humans are natural error-makers. So why do we feel like being wrong is just an embarrassing defect? Why do we think we can overcome it? And if we could overcome it, what would this world look like if we did? There would only be small talk because we can’t argue. The search would be over and this would cause life to be boring in and of itself. We need wrongness to make our stories work. Without being wrong, books wouldn’t have twists. People would never be surprised. In this case, being wrong is an extremely good thing. Kathryn Schulz ends by telling her audience that if they want to rediscover wonder, they all have to look around and say, “Wow, I don’t know. Maybe I’m wrong.” I know that everyone has at least some miniscule plan for their lives. Is yours set in stone? Or could you be wrong?
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